Scientist Confirm: America Dullest Nation On Earth

Scientist at the Global Institute of Rational Thinking While In The Shower have confirmed that the conversational level of Americans has reached historic lows due to being bored out of their heads, unless singing in the shower, or displaying other annoying behaviors such as posting on blogs and other social media sites.

However people with bumper stickers seem to have escaped this malaise, partially due to having said everything they have to say on their bumper stickers, while others apparently had no idea of idea in the first place.

Meanwhile, in downtown Ratsass, Kansas a man was reportedly killed by a bulldozer operated by a man who reportedly failed to see the truck, having been distracted by the “Don’t Tread On Me” bumper sticker peeking out from what appear to be ‘I love Jesus’ fishes, and other deep thoughts pasted to the truck. “I thought it was the outhouse.” he said, as police put him in the car and hauled him away for questioning.

Police later stated the man had been watching streaming videos of GOP politicians on pogo sticks shouting Benghazi!, and had thought they said, “Kamikaze the Feminazis,” which distracted the operator.

The man was released into the custody of his bartender. Scientist at the Global Institute had no idea if the accident had anything to do with the report, which made the story even more entertaining for the writers of the story.


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